When Is More Not Merrier?

It's been 15 years since Ameeyn, KayZ and Udy stayed in A1 -1 and a lot has happened to them since then. For example Mubi's daughter is already in Primary six, KayZ hit the jackpot and has moved his family to Vancouver, Udy married his second wife last year, and no one has heard from Ameeyn since his PhD at MIT 10 years ago.
But a lot has happened in A1 -1 also. The "Floating candle" incident was the most recent. A chicken's head was found with a diamond ring in its mouth about five years back. And it was there that the madman attacked Labiba and Hadiza while Amina was out shopping just few years after the guys left.

A family of five now stay in A1 -1. The parents, two sons and a daughter. They are Portuguese and are on vacation. One day the daughter was left alone in the house and boredom led her into searching the house for anything interesting. A paper sticking out of the couch in the living room caught her eye, and out of curiosity, she read.

**********

**th October, 2007.

We had a wild night yesterday, one of the nicest since the boring holidays started. I was so tired when we came back, so I retired to my room. I opened the windows for fresh air and the house directly opposite my window had all their fluorescent lights on and some really crappy music playing at extremely loud. I lay still, praying they'll somehow snap out of the trance they were put under by the douchebag hypnotist. One, Two, Three minutes passed. My prayers weren't answered. I guessed there was no hypnotist, just a bunch of silly people with no respect for their neighbors. So I stood up, put on a towel and walked to my balcony.
"Hey!", I shouted to the two girls on the opposite balcony.
They didn't answer.
"Hey There!"
One turned, looked at me and turned around.
I was like... What tha fuck?
"Hey there!"
They turned.
"Yes you!"
"What?"
I was like like... Gal don't gimme attitude, am not in the mood!
"Turn that volume the fuck down!"
They couldn't believe what they heard.
"What?"
"Maybe you'd say What a lot less if your crappy music wasn't so loud"
They looked at each other. The fair slutty looking one asked,
"What's your problem?"
"My problem? You are my fucking problem!"
They didn't say anything. So I continued,
"I had a long day, fucking tired and having a headache, and I came back home just to find what? Lights like a football stadium shining on me and a music so crappy it can... "
"... OK! Stop there."
They looked at one another and spoke in whatever language is it they spoke. It sounded like an argument.
"Are you girls going to argue all night or is someone gonna take care of the fucking lights."
"Dude am trying to get you your lights out here so stop being a bitch and shut that fuck up!", said the dark pretty one.
My mouth dropped open. I didn't know she could talk like that, as a matter of fact I didn't know any of them could talk like that.
"He is not getting a lights out! Who tha fuck does he think he is?", said the fair slutty one.
"Bitch am here so stop talking as if am not. I dunno what you're trying to achieve by turning all these lights and dancing on the balcony at three in the morning. Maybe you should think of putting a large sign board that says 'Boyfriend Wanted' instead"
She was silent. And after a while she said,
"Watever! You can have the bloody lights off, but the music fucking stays!"
I shake my head. Bitches! They said something behind my back that I didn't hear, but I didn't care.
As I lay down for the second time, I thought what it would be like with any more of them. I'd jump off a building or bleed myself to death I though. And with a smile on my face, I slept.

**th October, 2007
Just when I thought I had peace, I was awoken by some loud crappy music. Even crappier than last night's. I walked out the balcony to check what's up, and I saw people. Lots of them. And not just any people. The likes of those I had a fight with last night. Hundreds of them!
I took my phone and called Mubi.
"Who the fuck are these? And what are they doing playing loud music at five in the morning?"
"They are new students. A hundred and twenty of them. They just arrived last night..."
Fuck!
What would it be, Ixora or a razor?

**********

She turned the page around. There wasn't more. She put her hands deeper into the couch. Nothing. She knew it was a page from someone's journal. Probably someone that lived in the house years ago. But who? She set to find out...

Out of their minds... into their thoughts...

Long before A-1-1 turned into a girl's camp, something happened. Something BIG... Udy's wedding reception.

It was Saturday evening, and the guest were arriving at Hotel Theme Park, up at Genting Highlands. People wondered why the couple decided to take the reception up there.

"This guy is retarded" - Some people thought.

"People do crazier things for love, so give the guy a break" - Others thought.

The first to come to the venue, among the close friends was Mubi. He walked into the hall; his girl on one hand and the other waving to people as he passed. He was dressed elegantly in traditional Hausa attire, and was smiling heavily. Some people thought he might have been the groom.

"Who the hell does this guy think he is? A fuckin' Groom out-shiner???" - Some people thought.

"Wow... If Mubi is dressed like this, Udy's must be off the hook!" - Others thought.

Ameeyn came in next, with Halilu, Habiba and Sumayya. Habiba was Halilu's girl.
Halilu's dressing was colourful, and Ameeyn's was maxed.

"Hello... Did someone call a fuckin' clown?!" - Some people thought when they saw Ameeyn.

"Hey Mr. Peacock! The color extravaganza exhibition is on the other side!" - Others thought when they saw Halilu.

Habiba and Sumayya were dressed casually,

"Hey you're at a party not a fuckin' cheap-ass picnic" - A few people thought.

"Wow... they are so beautiful, like angels from heaven" - Others thought, and didn't even notice the casual clothes.

After a couple of people, Kay-Z came in with Asma'u. They dressed to match, so much so that those people who thought Mubi was the groom, now think Kay-Z and Asma'u were infact the married couple.

"Hhmmm..."

Udy and the bride walked in and the crowd went crazy.

"Damn Udy is fuckin' lucky... look at that babe!" - A guy near the entrance thought.

"It's the Bitcht's wedding and she's lookin' dis fucked... I wont wanna imagine her on a normal day" - A girl standing near Mubi thought.

"Wow, never thought I'd see this day come" - Ameeyn thought.

"Asshole..." - The guy who drove Zubaida thought.

A little while later, Yakubu arrived. He was Sumayya's boyfriend, or something kinda like that. He had a little off-time with Sumayya, so it took a lot of persuasion from Ameeyn to have him come.
As he stepped in,

"Oh... not him!" - Sumayya thinking.

"Wow this guy is so fuckin' cute" - A girl standing next to Asma'u thought.

After the meal and various toasts from Ameeyn, Kay-Z, Mubi and the bride's people, the dance began. And the couple opened the floor.

"What in the name of God are these guys doing"

"Owww... Don't they look so cute together"

"Get a room guys!"

Yakubu approached Sumayya for a dance. He wasn't really into dancing, but wanted to give onlookers and haters the illusion that everything was cool with him and Sumayyah.

"What tha fuck does this guy thinks he's doing?" - Summaya thought.

"Wow... this guy must really have some balls" - Habiba thought as she danced with Halilu.

"Hey Sumayya care for a dance", Yakubu asked, smiling.

"Hell No! Are you fucking retarded?!!!" - Sumayya's thought.

"No thanks.", she said, trying hard to return the smile.

He turned and walked away.

"Thats my girl!" - Habiba thought.

On his way out, the girl standing near Asma'u asked him for a dance.

"Hmm... What tha heck..." - Yakubu thought.

"Yeah sure", he said as he took her hand.

"Oh! This guy is so easy... I could fuck him and dump him" - She thought.

"Hope as hell Sumayya sees us... wanna make her feel my pain" - Yakubu thought.

"Look at this bitch jumpin' from one guy to another. Does she even know what she fucking wants" - Another girl thought when she saw the girl dancing with Yakubu.

Sumayya saw them.

"OMG! He just didn't do that! What else does he do behind my back?" - Sumayya thought.

She walked out of the ball room and headed for the reception.

"Great! Now how do I get rid of this girl? Wanna go get my girl" - Yakubu thought when he saw Sumayya walk out.

"Ewww... He's such a bad dancer. But since he aign't leaving, he must be thinking he'd get lucky..." - The girl dancing with Yakubu thought.

She smiled.

"...maybe... It's always good to have plan B" - She thought.

"What's she smiling for? OMG! Hope she doesn't like me already, cuz am so not interested!" - Yakubu thought.

Meanwhile, out in the reception, Ameeyn saw Sumayya.

"Oh! Not again! I gotta tighten the social screws on this girl's brains" - He thought.

He walked up to her and asked, "What you doing out here all alone?"

"Oh! Not this guy! Not again! Is he stalking me or something?" - She thought.

"Waiting for Habiba. She's coming out now, we gonna go to the rest room", she said.

"Bitch Please!!! Don't gimme that Bullshit! I know seeing Yakubu having fun makes you uncomfortable. I think I gotta fix you two myself... Ur little games make me sick!" - Ameeyn though.

"Why don't we go back in, and then when she's done, you two can come out together. You're sending the wrong message sitting here all alone", He said smiling and offering his hand.

"Oh see that poor girl trying to get picked up by that clown... He's such a looser!" - The attendant at the reception thought.

They walked back in, Ameeyn holding Sumayya's hand.

"What tha Fuck?!!! So she didn't dance with me cuz she was going somewhere with him?" - Yakubu thought.

"Motherfucker!!! Anyways am not surprised, this won't be the first time he took his friend's girl" - Habibu thought.

"... I mean all this while I thought he was on ma side... Ashe the cocksucker wanted my girl" - Yabubu though.

"Shege Ameeyn!" - Kay-Z thought.

"...I mean... Only God knows what they did out there" - Yakubu still thinking.

**********************************************************

"oMG! This guy is fuckin' nuts!" - You are now thinking...

28 Months Later : The Diary of Labiba

12th February, 2010

Today I, Hadiza and Amina moved into our not-so-new new house.
It was apartment A-1-1, at BBP. The landlord is nice, and he said the former tenants, Ameeyn, Udy and Kay-Z, were Nigerians also. I haven't met Ameeyn or Kay-Z, but I met Udy once. Not exactly the meeting I was hoping for.
I was going to the finance office to finalize my registration when I saw him in his car. The car was pimped out, and to be honest, I loved it. I heard a lot about him from... you know, news still found a way to come to me even though its just my first week (Damn girl!). So I slowed down my pace and walked close to his side of the car looking at him. When our eyes met, I smiled, but he was just blank. I mean, didn't he see my smile? Was it not big enough? Was he in a bad mood? Anyways, thats how I met Udy.
OK, so the house was pretty much clean, so I took the first room, immediately from the main door. Hadiza took the one close to the bathroom, and Amina the other room.

Tomorrow is saturday, so we all plan to go to Jusco and get stuff for the house. Farida promised to go with us. She seems really nice, but I don't really trust people like that. But who cares, even if she's not all good, its her last sem, so hopefully, I won't get to put up with her for too long.


13th February, 2010

Wow! Our girl's day out was off the fuckin' hook! Shoppin', hot guys hittin' on you and then being updated with the latest gossip, I mean, come-on guys... What more would a girl ask for?
I think am gonna like Farida afterall.
She came to our place and woke us up. It was 2pm! Damn girl, what tha hell is wrong wif us. Anyways we cleaned up and dressed up really really fast. Everyone was ready at 5pm, so she called this guy to come take us. I can't really remember his name, but he was tall, fair and not too bad looking. It seems he's been here a while, maybe even as long as Farida. Dunno the names of them Malaysian cars yet, but boy, the car he came with was sweet! What's wif me and cars?
We ate in Nandos, at Jusco. The guy paid for all of us. I don't like the idea of guys paying everything, but Farida doesn't seem to mind... so what tha heck! We did a lil shopping, then proceeded to Tesco.
There, I saw Ameeyn, tall, dark and handsome. He was with another girl, I forgot her name, but Farida said it was his wife, and they've been together for about a year. I didn't know students get married here... Wow! I mean... Its just Wow!
Now that I've seen Udy and Ameeyn, I was sooo eager to see Kay-Z. I didn't wanna ask any of the girls, cuz I don't want 'em to have any ideas in their heads.
Anyways all these guys in Mahkota kept looking at us. I know we hot and all, but people please... show some respect. About 10 guys came and talked to us, and two were definitely Hot!
It was past 8 when we came back, and the guy had to drop something for someone (I didn't care to ask) at UV, and that was when I caught a glimpse of Kay-Z. I mean boy! I wasn't disappointed! He waved at the guy we were with when he came out of the car, but didn't come over to see who was in. Oh God! I sooo wish he did!
Anyways we just finished putting the house together now and going to bed any minute from now. I wonder what will happen tomorrow. Kabir will probably call, but what of here? Its Valentines for cryin' out loud... I Need Chocolates!!!


14th February, 2010


I slept half the day today. And when I finally woke up, I found like 25 Valentines SMS txt msgs from 9ja. I was like Wow... Funny how people just start textin' you outta the blue just cuz you out. Oh my 9ja ppl... I miss you!

Anyways I was mostly in all day till about 8pm when the guy from yesterday came and wanted to take all of us out. I didn't know what was on his bloody mind but what tha heck, I had nothing better doing so I tagged along.

At the gas station, I saw this really sweet car (yeah cars again... deal with it) and in tryin' to look closer, I noticed this chic inside. I didn't really pay any attention to her cuz it was the car I liked not her (God! Now I wish I had seen the face of the bitch). The guy finished fueling, went in and started his engines. It was when he came to pass by us that I noticed who it was. Kay - Z!

So outta reflex, I said "Is that Kay-Z's car?". And the guy with us was like, " No, what made you think so?" And I was thinking to myself, hello dumbo, I just saw him in the fuckin' car, why do you think I thot so? But I said "Cuz I just saw him in the car". "No he wasn't", came the guy. Then who tha fuck is it? "Then who was it?", I asked. "Its Ameeyn". What tha Fuck??? "Isn't Ameeyn married?", I was confused. "No, Udy is".

Jesus fuckin' christ!! I mixed them all up!